So many little quarrels later. And there are a couple new prospects - weird! I'm listening to "I Found A Reason" and I don't think I have an actual reason to keep living, just the prospect of possible, future, maybe-reasons. And also to not cast a blow to my family.

This sounds more negative than I feel right now, actually. There have been some pretty negative moments (aforementioned phone fights, dinner&convo with my dad about things my brother told me about over the summer but never heard of from anyone else, the thought of my other brother actually sobbing, etc.) but right now I am just trying to get my scanner to work. I should try to get my and others' lives to work too.

I saw Beach House yesterday and they were really good, even if the girl kind of copped a 'tude? (I feel like it's the kind of not-quite-a-'tude-but-comes-off-that-way that someone could accuse me or other awkward people of having, anyway.) It sounded wonderful, and Declan even unknowingly talked to the Dude in it (!). Dan Deacon was energetic and pretty entertaining, even though he was sick. The other bands were uhhhh. But the 'real' show of the night, I didn't actually see. In the words of a song title from a "Blue Collar Comedy Tour meets Mind of Mencia" (SELF-PROCLAIMED) comedy-rock album that found its way to the radio station mail bin last Friday... all I can say is, "Shodahodado" (the FCC warning label actually spells out that it reads, "Show the hoe the door").

Shodahodado. Seriously.