[So I have this hispanic studies exam tomorrow morning and I haven't started studying for it .. OH COLLEGE, YOU CAD.]
I happened to see the Guy as I was getting breakfast and he had finished breakfast, then I ate breakfast with him, then happened to see him at lunch while talking to a friend, then he and friend and another guy came back out to the patio with their own lunches. Then he told me he had been thinking, and he encouraged me - so innocently/sweetly** - to come try out for the comedy troupe (of which he and friends are a part, the same one mentioned around this time last year), because - "I think you're funny." "And I usually wouldn't say anything because, I mean, people can make their own decisions, but I think - like, if you get over your nervousness or something - you should really come try out."
Oh, fucking dear! So wishy-washiness ensued... it kind of ensued anyway when friend asked if I was going to try out this year, but hot diggity dog ziggity***. Arggh. So last year I was nervous about bombing, and then couldn't find the audition sign-up sheet. This year I was even more apprehensive about the prospect of being unfunny, because now that I am recognized by everyone in the group (except the one girl, except she quit, so there's no need to count this), then it would be horrible to be crappy and then have to either awkwardly avoid or reluctantly acknowledge the fact.
Today during lunch I was laughing about it with friend, getting all hypothetical, thinking that I could just fake-try out and be really bad and have fun anyway. But all too late -- because life's like this**** -- I realized, yeah, I actually could do that. And if not that, it's only a half-hour of potential embarrassment, probably tempered by laughs at other people's jokes and things. And at least everyone's friendly to me this year, because of the hairy fact that I know everyone in it.
letting him know, part 0.000001 (an electronic attempt)
Date: Tue, 5 Oct 2004 23:25:42 -0400
From: ME
Subject: SKETCH COMEDY TROUPE
To: GUY
Cc: FRIEND
After I napped while doing my Spanish readings tonight, I wrestled with the prospect of auditioning for you guys - oh, wrestle I did. And at 9:15 I finally decided that, yes I should, what's the harm in it anyways!!! And then I realized that it was well past auditioning time. OOP.
But anyway, I wanted to say thanks for what you said at lunch today; I was kinda flabbergasted, but it really meant a lot to me.
I guess I just don't play by conventional rules of "time and space" .. at least when it comes to auditions. I do hope, though, that the new members you guys picked can do Canadian accents; otherwise I feel like my only acting skills could have been primed for the group's comedy whim.
-ME
So .. yeah. Another year gone by. But - pros and cons to both sides.
* = yeah, I quote presidential election buzzphrases circa 2000. What of it?
** = I mean to say that the Guy is really sweet all around, I am not suggesting that he was particularly sweet just for my sake. He is so sweet, and I just exhausted that phrase so I'm probably never going to use it again ... at least, not until the next time I see him.
*** = yeah, I quote Perry Como hits that I had to listen to when my dad would have control of the car stereo. What of it?
**** = yeah, I quote Avril Lavigne songs. What of it?
BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOTCH????????/