What went wrong THIS time
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Thinking recently about love, devotion, service, and whistleblowing. I feel like I'm thinking about whistleblowing quite often -- guess it's just something about being in politicky places, and having worked for the government but lost the job for security reasons. hm. so there's that.

I don't have anything to blow about, but for others who know, to blow: it's so important!

I don't mean to act all THIS IS IMPORTANT in a condescending way. I really just want to hear someone say something back � either agreeing and talking about it and about related things and moving it forward, or just saying what they think.

I want to get in on more discussions. I'm kinda living the silent life.

I want discussions about sticky things. Politicky things okay, but sticky things in general.

Need new minds?

A long while ago I was reading online about open relationships � how to approach them, how to maintain them. Not too many answers there except for... it all boils down to... trust and communication. No doikey. But I really tried to wrap my brain around it and keep thinking maybe it's possible. Somewhat unthinkable for previous me (lonely girl! INSANELY JEALOUS/INSECURE!), and I still may get swept up in some wave of dark passion (read: JEALOUSY!). But I've always been kinda Capricorn-practical, and I'm starting to understand my needs and emotional capacities.

BODY HEAT. EMOTIONAL WARMTH. But more importantly, emotional simmer in the background.

And I like some body heat while being emotionally cold too. It's like ICY/HOT for your bedroom. This makes like 2% sense but whatever, the important parts are (1) sometimes we all need to be body-robots, and (2) I do enjoy the menthol smell, and (3) --

There's some mantra online somewhere, instructing you to say: "I'm not the same person I was yesterday." It's true, and it's a relief. Look at this Toothpaste for Dinner, it's funny and true, and what a relief to remind yourself that you don't have to live that today.

Now just comes the time when you talk to other people. See where that takes us.

2012-11-13 12:07 a.m.
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