Is it just better to be selfish and up front?? argh. Apparently in my absence I make people feel bad. And then I don't even know how, or want?, to fix it. I'm already behind in readings and projects. Stupid hurricane flipping everything around, exposing my flaws, how on some days, even during a friend's birthday party, I just feel like curling up in my bed, for hours and hours. Am I allowed to cry and clue people in on all the things sapping my own energy? (even if mine are mostly self-inflicted?)

All day my head is buzzing. I have to be in the mood to ignore it. Turning up my headphone volume helps though.

Arthur Russell sounds like Aaron Neville (at least, their voices are similar). I pinpointed this while making the long walk back home after class last week. Headphones 'n me, no reason to worry about forms and deadlines and things because I can't do that while walking, can only enjoy breathy exaggerated (but genuine) tremolo. Maybe I really am meant to be a hermit.