You are a dear. You are addictive. I'm sorry I didn't use you from the start. Maybe it's the "Family Affairs" [sic] talking, but I .. I ... um. Gotta go.

♥ , Mika.

Even with an online diary service, I can't truly express my deeper feelings. For my birthday, I would like to have a good platonic male friend with whom I could practice expressing deeper feelings, and maybe get some lovin' from in addition. I won't even say "a boyfriend," simply because the word connotates so much work, flaccid devotion, etc. I think I've missed out on that whole elementary-thru-middle school period of romantic/sexual experimentation devoid of any commitment, and now it feels like everyone's ahead while I scratch my head and daydream about strange men and even stranger crushes from last year.

Karl, can you hear me?